Pool fucker.

It’s Big Country.

Cunkey likes guns, guns, guns, and libertarianism!

The Hair Diva Needs Help!

25 +

Years

Experience

WHY COUNTRY?

Build A Strategy That Upsets Everyone

Big Country is well-versed in being a total dick to everyone he comes across.

  • Being racist
  • Violent outbursts
  • Overly strong opinions
  • Wacky political views

Testimonials

What Clients Say About Us

Ass

Ass Guy

I love rare countries! Especially “cigar anus clenching!”

Robert Troller

Trolling, M.D.

CUNKTREE NEWS

Check out our blog posts!

Look at these pics of a fat ass dog.

Meet Fido, the four-legged wiener wonder! This canine sensation is like a hotdog that rolled off the grill and into your living room. Fido is so long and sausage-shaped; you’d think he’s auditioning for the title of “Top Dog at the BBQ.” Rumor has it, he once tried to enter a dachshund race, but they mistook him for the finish line. Fido’s got more rolls than a bakery, and don’t even get him started on his love for belly rubs – it’s like finding the pot of gold at the end of a pudgy rainbow. If you ever need a loyal friend who doubles as a body pillow, Fido is your man… uh, dog.

Now, let me tell you about Big Country – not your typical cowboy, but a dude who could probably use Fido as a living bean bag chair. Big Country and Fido have a special bond; it’s like the two of them were separated at birth and reunited in the snack aisle. They even share a love for all things oversized. Big Country swears Fido’s the only dog who can out-snore him, and if you’ve ever heard Big Country’s nocturnal symphony, that’s saying something! So, next time you see Fido waddling down the street, just remember – he’s not fat; he’s Big Country’s spirit animal in doggy form!